Phineas B. "Soap" Crow is a character in the Finishing School Series. He is a "sootie" that works in the boiler room of Mademoiselle Geraldine’s Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality. He is a love interest to Sophronia.
He is tall, has a pleasant smile, and Sophronia mentions that he is quite muscular, especially compared to Felix Mersey, likely in part due to his work as a sootie. Soap is noted as being "of African descent." As a human, he smells of coal and boilers.
After he becomes a werewolf, he smells of freshly butchered beef and open fields.
He tries to adhere to social protocols and is very embarrassed to be in close quarters with ladies with no room to back away. As such, he is polite, always calling the girls of Mademoiselle Geraldine's "miss".
He has a very happy-go-lucky and comic outlook on life.
In the books Edit
Soap meets Sophronia while she is exploring the school's boiler room one night. They become fast friends, and Soap becomes a willing part of Sophronia's schemes and adventures.
In Waistcoats & Weaponry, Soap describes to Sophronia his desire to try for immortality by becoming a claviger. This news drives a wedge between them, as Sophronia is deeply upset by the idea that he will not only leave the school, but he may very well die in the attempt.
Later, Soap is fatally wounded by Duke Golborne and undergoes metamorphosis to become a werewolf, after Sophronia bargains for his life by agreeing to indenture herself to the dewan as an intelligencer after her graduation from Mademoiselle Geraldine's.
Soap meets with Sophronia briefly during an illegal jaunt with Dimity to a tea party they weren't supposed to attend. He later appears after Madame Geraldine's dirigible crashes, and started searching for Sophronia. He eventually found her and brought her to Lord Akeldama's. In the end, they become a couple, and unlike the beginning of their relationship, they share affections openly.
- Sophronia's pet name for Soap is "popsey."
- Soap does not like fish.
- “It'll all end in tears and oil.” 
- "Felix Mersey might be the cream of the aristocracy, but in the boiler room Soap was undisputed king - grimy empire thought it might be." 
- "'Soap,' she said hoarsely, 'I forbid you to die.' 'Now, miss, that's not fair. You know I always try to do as you ask. This time it might not be up to me, and I hate to disappoint you.'" 
- “I have always been hers. Although she is taking her time accepting it.” 
- “Please don’t. When you think about things, Sophronia, they only get more complicated. This thing between us could be so very easy, if you let it.” 
- "I was rather hoping we could live happily in sin for a very long time."